I decided for the first time this year that I wasn’t going to give or receive gifts for Christmas. My success was somewhat mixed, but mostly positive. Even though I made the decision in August, my parents had already purchased some gifts for me. My parents tend to be utilitarian gift-givers anyway, so the things they gave me were things that I needed anyway. I did end up buying gifts for my brother and my sister, since I didn’t communicate my intentions to them in time, and they had purchased gifts for me. (Compromising myself? Maybe, but I didn’t want my decision to look like a cover for frugality.)

Like Sean, I also didn’t “grow up” Anabaptist; my parents went to church when we were younger, but have now stopped. However, I didn’t experience too many challenges. For one, my parents tend to see eye-to-eye with me on issues of consumerism, even if they don’t have the same religious justification for it. As a result, they were an easy sell. I also didn’t think to tell my grandparents about my decision, so I’m sure I’ll be getting gifts from them tomorrow.

Around my family, I find myself justifying my decision to stay away from gift-giving on the basis of the consumerism it implies, and the reasons why that consumerism is bad for society (let’s call this the “Adbusters” argument), rather than giving the full religious justification for it (what might be called the “Geez” argument). It’s definitely the easier argument to make (and, as a bonus, I get fewer “you’re a religious freak” looks than I probably would otherwise). I’m more open about my religious motivations with my friends, who also tend to be Christian.

I have, however, also felt pretty much by myself. Most of my friends seem to view it as an interesting perspective, but not one that they share. (One friend in particular thought it was fascinating, but paradoxically also wanted to get me something as a gift. After numerous discussions about the topic, he purchased a tree in my name from Ten Thousand Villages… and gave me some postage stamps so I could write to him.) While I wouldn’t say that I feel “trapped,” it would be nice to feel like I wasn’t just in it by myself.

It’s encouraging to hear that there are others struggling with this. As a personal note, I think it’s important to point out the community aspect of how this all ends up working out. As someone that didn’t grow up Anabaptist and has always been pretty transient (military brat), I don’t feel like I have much support in the simplicity/anti-consumerist stances I take sometimes. Because I don’t have a stable community around me that is committed to simplicity, it can be difficult to actually practice it.

Three or four years ago, I asked my parents not to buy me anything for Christmas and instead to sponsor a girl through Compassion with the money they would have spent. I did this as an experiment, but it backfired on me. They did the Compassion thing, but then they bought me even more crap because they were proud of me. I tried to explain that they were missing the point, but it didn’t click. I don’t want to come across as self-righteous when I talk to them, so I mostly just avoid the subject any more.

I think the problem is probably self-evident. I know it will offend or alienate my family if I refuse to give or receive gifts, but I’m challenged and inspired by people like the Peebles. This is where the community comes in. I think there are a lot of people out there who really hate what consumerism has done to Christmas/family/everything, but feel trapped. If there isn’t a group of committed Christ-followers around encouraging and challenging us, we’re going to find ourselves compromising and burning out fairly rapidly. Anyone else have any thoughts?