Comments on: Why aren’t more women commenting?

By: Amy

Amy — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:35:44 +0000

Part of the reason I don’t comment is b/c I sometimes feel like I speak a different language on this site than most others. My thoughts come from an intuitive, feeling place, and it doesn’t come across well on this site. So, I just gave up. I choose to talk about what is important to me elsewhere.

Also, much of what is discussed on YAR nowadays is not as interesting as what we used to talk about. And, with school and all, I have other things to do.

By: Adam

Adam — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:24:51 +0000

Tim,
I am not clear on the assumptions behind the survey. Would the forums completely replace blog comments? Would they be moderated? I’d need a broader proposal before I could vote.

By: Lora

Lora — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:22:21 +0000

I agree with Brian — I stopped participating when I realized that YAR had gone far beyond a circle of people I knew and had talked with in person, and whose assumptions I understood to some extent.

I think Katie once said that if commenters at YAR wanted to make extraordinary claims, we needed to back it up with extraordinary proof. When we respond out of our assumptions–sort of like Brian said–we don’t see that as anything that needs additional backing, even when someone else’s dignity is involved.

By: TimN

TimN — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:10:55 +0000

Somasoul, since you raised it, would you be willing to lay off the gender equality discussion? Unlike all the other folks over the years who have dropped in to argue about this in the past, you’ve stayed around and contributed some thoughtful posts. But it’s pretty clear from what I’m reading that people are tired of discussing women in this way and do not feel like we’re getting any closer to mutual understanding or change through the discussion.

I for my part, would be willing to commit to heavier moderation of comments. As admin, I think it’s time to take stronger steps make this space a safer place for women.

Luke, I know you suggested this forum idea before. It would take some time to set it up, but I’m willing to do that if I have a sense that there’s quite a few people who like the idea. I’ve created a poll to gauge interest levels in this proposal.

By: somasoul

somasoul — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 23:51:20 +0000

You can say my name, it’s not like I don’t know………..

(or maybe I think too much of myself)

By: lukelm

lukelm — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 23:18:49 +0000

I know this might steer the discussion away from the main topic - sorry - but I think the comments so far are reflecting what I and a number of others were talking about in the “Tired” thread before it fizzled - that there’s a potential for more community-building on YAR but the current format doesn’t support it very well. I think it’d be nice to have a less formal side of YAR (forum vs blog) to connect rather than always having to organize it around a big article, topic, & debate.

By: Skylark

Skylark — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:21:35 +0000

As for why I have not had anything to say lately (not that anyone asked for me specifically, just women in general), I’m trying to run a less Net-addicted life, and YAR doesn’t regularly make the cut for the amount of time I do spend online.

However, I will second Lora’s statement about understanding neither the logic nor arguments of the person she was addressing. Sometimes when I think about catching up on YAR, I think, “It’d be nice to engage with certain people, but others have attitudes I’ve been dealing with my entire life, and I just don’t feel like going there right now.”

By: Melissa Green

Melissa Green — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:35:35 +0000

I agree with Brian, but the issue of women in leadership debate was going on long before most of us were born, and it will likely still be ragining on after we’re gone. I’ve gotten to the point where I almost don’t think there can be healthy dialogue/debate on the issue. Honestly, if I were a person who didn’t have an opinion, I might use a forum like this to read other people’s positions on the subject to help form my own opinion.

But, like I said - I didn’t participate in the most recent discussion because it’s a discussion I’ve had 9999999999999 times before, and it’s one of the issues that probably went a long way toward helping to push me toward Quakerism.

By: Jonny

Jonny — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 05:06:44 +0000

Amen to that, Brian!

By: lukelm

lukelm — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 03:25:11 +0000

I fully agree with Brian’s analysis.

By: Brian Hamilton

Brian Hamilton — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 23:29:50 +0000

I don’t spend much time watching the site these days, but I expect that YAR has begun to hit a wall that almost every online discussion site I’m familiar with has hit: where too many people with too many different assumptions and too little actual familiarity with each other just give up talking. Especially on topics that have been beaten to death too many times. People from any perspective get tired of trying over and over again to communicate all the presuppositions that necessarily belong to their “position.” Maybe I’m being too cynical, but I’m increasingly dissuaded that fruitful disagreement can happen in a forum like this. I wonder, in fact, if it doesn’t hurt more than it helps. (E.g., there’s one person on this blog whom I had gotten to know briefly a number of years ago, with whom I got along very well, I thought, and at the time considered a comrade on certain key things–but wonder now, after some serious online sparring, whether we could pick up a friendship without some serious and long-term work.)

This doesn’t speak directly to the question of fewer women than men, but it’s the reason that I’ve also stopped chiming in on “fights” that might otherwise be “mine.” It’s just not worth it. I get much more out of this blog from reading people’s longer posts, and just sitting with them–disagreements and all.

By: Melissa Green

Melissa Green — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:10:03 +0000

I read the thread and comment, and I just thought that repeatedly banging my head on my desk would be a more productive use of my time.