Time Traveling Amish Avoid Future; Take Over the World

Amish gas tank, sleds and buggy
Zack Exley, formerly of Revolution in Jesusland, shared this story on Facebook. Its a delightful slice of the Anabaptist apocalyptic imagination:

I had a dream last night that kept repeating all night. Time travel was invented. A conservative Amish-ish sect used it to swap the past for the future with everyone else. They kept going back one year so that they wouldn’t have to experience all the new developments. But this kind of time travel only worked by swapping places with people in the past. So they swapped with people who wanted to skip ahead and get their new iPhones sooner and watch the new Mad Men season earlier. This seemed like a harmless and good deal for everyone involved. But it emerged that each year (a la Groundhog day) the retro sect was using their knowledge of the future to secure enormous power over the world. But it actually turned out well because the sect used their power to prevent wars, famines, etc…

Maybe Mark Tooley was just off by one sect. Zack asks for movie credit from anyone who makes the movie.

Photo by Tim Nafziger