GAH! *@&#, it’s cold!

It is absolutly freezing. Saturday morning brought frost on the car windows and I’m chucking trash into bag at 8 am because I got to cart 3 adults to Philly from Baltimore (The Element is trashed. I blame the kids.). Actually, these “adults” might as well be 13, their behavior will be subpar all day long. In about an hour, Dave Worthless, Brando, Stilts, and I, will be yelling at each-other and telling jokes that would make a sailor blush. This is my band. And it’s cold.

It’s about 13 degrees outside. It’s Saturday. And we have to leave at 9 am to get to Philly by noon because Obama is taking Amtrak from Philly, to Wilmington, then landing in my hometown of Baltimore. It’s usually a 90 minute trip but we expect the I-95 corridor to be packed.

We stop at the Chesapeake House, a modern truck stop up in no-man’s land Maryland for band essentials, most notably coffee. I also notice my supply of Camel Lights is running rather low. And there he is, the Obamessiah, live from Philly, talking to a crowd on the TV. I can’t hear him because the volume is off in the truck stop. I wonder why it’s even on. I also notice that there seems to be a lot of African Americans in the truck stop this morning. Maybe headed to Wilmington or south, to Baltimore. I’m staring at Barack and I just sort of take him in. I get to look at him, not hear him. Barack sure is handsome, tall, he seems confident. And, yeah, he’s black. But not too black, not truly black. He’s not really, really black, if you get me. He’s black enough, I s’pose. (This isn’t my perception, rather, my perception of other’s perceptions. I guess this is a bad way to perceive things. But the human race has always perceived the way others perceive things so…..what the hell was I talking about????)

We head out the door and find the truck, pile in like a bunch of drunk teenagers. Ah, Cecil County. Someone mentions that the Klan started here. Ya know, THE Klan. If you mention the Klan it’s like mentioning the pill. No one ever asks “What pill?” or “What Klan?”. We think it funny that Obama’s train is coming right through Klan country. We utter jokes that probably should not be in print. You get us together and our collective IQ drops about 175 points. I try my best to keep the boys in line.

Did I mention how frickin’ cold it is? I have about 2% body fat and I freeze instantly. Driving up to Philly we pass an Amtrak station with about 100 people standing out there holding Obama signs. The Obamessiah is coming. On train. Donkeys are so 32 AD. It’s 13 degrees outside and these folks, these folks that we allowed to vote, are standing outside waiting to view a train as it speeds by. I’m not in favor of IQ tests to obtain voter registration cards, but perhaps some sort of easy questionaire should suffice. Questions could include:

It’s cold as a witch’s tit outside. The new president is on train. Do you A) Stand on the platform waving a sign as a train passes by at 200 MPH that produces a windgust that makes it feel colder than Pluto’s third moon? or B) Go home and watch Obama’s speech on TV while the people outside freeze to death; you drink hot cocoa and flip to sports center?

I mean, one of those is really obvious to me.

I was in a book store a couple weeks ago and I saw a book about US presidents. And there he was, Obama’s mug on the very front. The little city garden center at the end of my block? The one that is run by the foreign guys and the place used to be a gas station? Yeah, that guy is selling Obama T-Shirts. The cover of Newsweek two weeks ago? Obama getting off a plane with the caption: “How to fix the world”. Holy shit! Fix the World? Someone has a plan for that? The insinuation is obvious: The world can be fixed, Obama could, perhaps, maybe, do it.

I’ve never seen so much focus on a president elect, ever. I doubt there has ever been. Maybe this is a product of the 24 hour news cycle. Maybe people are just happy that King George is finally leaving the Oval Office. Maybe I’m out of my head and Obama is gonna bring about world peace, and feed every mouth, and give everyone a puppy. Anything is possible.

All I’m sayin’ is maybe we should give the man year and see what he does. Let’s us, I dunno, use the virtue of patience or sumptin’ and wait and see. Wait and see. I think we got a hymn called “Wait and See” or maybe it’s “Taste and See”. Whatever. Maybe we should see what the guy does for a while before annointing him with oil and giving him the gold scepter and our firstborn sons.

Some of my friends, good democrat friends, heard me talkin’ this and asked if I would be happier had McCain won. Well, no. I’m not talking about McCain. I’m just sayin, the man hasn’t done nothin’ yet and the hordes are standing in 13 degree weather to watch his train go by. Isn’t that, I dunno, a little excessive? It’s like that woman who kept bleeding who wanted to touch Jesus. “If only I can touch his robe I’ll stop bleeding.” “Oh, if only I can see his train the values of hope and change will cleanse my soul.”

I’m just askin’ for a reality check for a moment. Didn’t Bush run a platform on fiscal conservatism and reducing military intervention in foreign affairs and a return to state’s rights? And what did he give us? A police state, two wars, no child left behind, reduced taxes and increased spending. The exact opposite of everything he said. Maybe Obama will be different.

If Obama can fix a couple things; healthcare, the economy, illegal immigration, and the war, then I’ll be happy. I don’t care who does it. A republican. A democrat. A couple stoned gay dudes and a rabid penguin. I don’t give a shit. All I’m asking for is a little patience. Look, if the guy ends the war or cures AIDs or invents the internet…cram those station platforms. Be my guest. In the meantime, when that new stimulus check comes in, I gonna buy a reality check for some folks.

Comments (6)

  1. Tim Baer

    So I’m watching the inauguration and, if I may, witnessed another Obamessiah moment. Describing the crowds on the national mall the announcer says: “The mall has been full for over 2 hours. The is no more room at the inn.”

    GAH! &@#^!

  2. Tim Baer

    Alright. So another announcer just said: “Barack Obama has a supernatural sense of himself.”

    GAH! &$*#^!

  3. Tim Baer

    WOW! What a really great speech by Obama. The whole affair was good. Rick Warren was fantastic. Yo-Yo Ma and company playing Williams’ score was just a great moment. I didn’t dig Aretha Franklin, that’d be my only exception.

    All in all I think that was one of the best speeches I’ve ever heard. But, like in all things, we gotta wait and see.

  4. John Stoner

    Waiting to see would be an all-American response–life, politics, the fate of the earth as a spectator sport.
    There is the possibility of being engaged, with God’s project to save the world (John 3:17). (Is it permitted to quote the Bible here? Notice I did not quote John 3:16).
    How did so much of the church, at least in this country, end up turning it’s task into saving souls, and scorning the idea of saving the world–when there’s not a damn thing the church can do to save a soul (if souls can be saved, God alone can do that), and the only thing humans could ever save would be the world. I say this because, if we know anything about what we’re for, it is that the project or stewardship or task given to us was/is to save the world.

  5. somasoul (Post author)


    You believe the Christian’s job is to save the world?

    From what?

  6. Tim B

    Almost four years ago I wrote this post. I did not want Obama to win the election. I did, however, believe him to be the better man over McCain. At the end of the Bush era (perhaps “reign”?) there was a big push toward regaining our civil liberties. Liberals and Libertarians had either hoped or were assured that Obama would eliminate a lot of the Executive powers Bush had used. I was indeed one of those. Now, as election day 2012 draws to close, I can’t help but think how very wrong we all were. Obama continues the Empire through aggressive warmongering. His drone attacks in Pakistan and Yemen are illegal and continue unabated. All males of fighting age that are killed are considered terrorists by proxy. US citizens have been assassinated using drones piloted by the US military on orders from the highest echelons of the US government. It would be horrendous enough if Obama piloted the drones himself, scarier still is the thought that an entire network of CIA agents, government bureaucrats, military officers, and drone pilots make up the support staff that doesn’t raise an eyebrow at orders to kill citizens of our country. Once again, a nation’s military has been easily turned into a private system of execution for the state. This is, without question, terrifying. Both Romney and Obama have assured us that they will continue to wage illegal wars, assassinate suspected terrorists, and answer to no one. The American public, the only force left to remove such men from office, will tonight proclaim their love for men over their love for law. Today, I will abstain from voting and from participating in a system that encourages such violent lawlessness.

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